You're still as stupid as you were before. You still don't know what to do, say or think.

soul in the dark

This will be my pseudo-blog. This is how cowardly I am. I need to hide my true identity for me to release my true feelings. I am a hypocrite. You would see my soul in this blog but you will never know my identity. I am a coward to my own self. And right now, I am hurt. It started out as an irritation on my part but as the night progresses the mere irritation is turning into hurt. And it brings about the question that always linger in my mind whenever I am hurt. Why do I allow myself to be in this kind of situation, I shouldn't have permitted this to happen since the beginning. I gave permission for this to happen, therefore I need to pay the price. Why am I so hurt and irritated anyway? It is because his ex is involved. Anything that involves his ex hurts me. Why? Because eventhough he told me millions of times already that it was me that he loved even when they were together, his actions strongly proved him wrong. I hate him for that fact. I hate him for breaking his promise to me. I hate him and I hate her for manipulating him into going into the relationship. And I hate him because he was gullible enough to enter the relationship.
I hate him because he said "I love you" to her.
I hate him because he made love with her.
I hate him because he kissed her.
I hate him because he held her hand.
I hate him because he caressed her face.
I hate him because he put up with her.
I hate him because he cared for her.
BUT MOST OF ALL, I HATE HIM BECAUSE HE SOLD ME OUT TO PLEASE HER.

Of all the things that hurts me most it is the last thing that has the biggest effect on me. I don't like the feeling of being betrayed or being stabbed in the back. He even treated me like dirt after that. Like I don't mean anything to him. And despite of this all, I accepted him back and gave him my love. It just hurts.