what's up?

We haven't spoken for so long. I don't understand what you're doing. I don't understand if you're just so busy at work that you don't notice that we are drifting apart already or you know that I am being cold that's why you chose once again to ignore it and wait for me to make the first move. For once, I don't have the strength nor the determination to make the first move. I am so dam tired of making this work. For once, I just don't care where this leads us. If we should not be together then I guess that should be it. Sad but then again that's how it is. You are too afraid to approach me or you just wants me to make the first. Both of those reasons are wrong. And i refuse to once again swallow my pride and make the first move. I've done that so many times already. Even if you were the one who is at fault. I just realized that it's me who's chasing you. Always me. And I am tired already. I'll just stay here and walk my walk. If you don't or can't follow then I guess we'll be heading on our own seperate ways. I don't understand this. I don't get you. But I refuse to make the first move. I refuse to feel stupid again. I'll stand my ground this time. I'm sorry but I owe this to myself.
Me and my mindless chatter...