fidelity = overrated

He told me that when he was away he saw this woman twice. That new knowledge kills me up until now. But she was right. I need not be unfair. I was in the same situation not just once but twice. It really hurts when you're on the other end of the line. What he felt for the other person was a threat to us and that's what mostly kills me. That he allowed somebody to be a threat to us. Then again, I had to think of my doings. I have also let somebody else be a threat to us. I let HER be a threat to us to the point that I completely walked out on him. Was that fair to him? No. What I learned about him right now fair to me. It wasn't when it happened but how about now? I don't know. I really don't know. I just don't know how to make the pain go away and continue to live the happy life we had yesterday. We are getting married for Pete's sake! Who needs this drama!?! I just want to let go. I want to believe him when he tells me that he will not fo that to me again. I want it so much that that also hurts. Because somewhat... my hurting heart refuses to...