i wonder...

I wonder if I'm pregnant. And if I am what do I do about it nad how do I deal with it? I don't think I'm ready for it but I don't want to have an abortion of course. I wonder how the father of the would be child would react. I'm scared I have to say but not as scared as I was when I was in college. I have a job, he has a job, somehow that's a bit comforting. But I'm really not ready for it if it is true. I am simply not. There's so much that I still want to do. Why am I even thinking about this, you may ask. I haven't gotten my period yet though I have up to next week to get it. the problem is that I'm also not getting the symptoms of my incoming period plus I felt vomiting this morning. I wanted to run to the bathroom and vomit. This is so scary. I don't think we're both ready for this and I just can see the disappointment from people's eyes when they find out. I wonder how my mother would react. Would she kill me?