We celebrated our 3rd year anniversary last Saturday. But we had a spat the night before that. I just lost it and I just told him that I was tired. I don't think he understood what I meant, I think he assumed I was just tired that day. I had tears on my eyes on my way home because I just realized that I was getting tired of taking care of the relationship and it was the same thing that I complained about before. I still have to make most of the decisions and plans. I still have to steer the wheel into whatever direction we needed to be. That night I just felt so tired of it all and it scared me becasue I felt, once again, that we're not gonna last another year. Yes, I'm not a pessimistic person about this relationship. I'm sorry.
We're not able to talk about it that night. He has to be somewhere. I cried a good amount of tears before sending him an SMS telling him I'll be seeing him the next morning. we went through with our plans. We went to the beach and had fun. It was a great day. It was better. We talked a little. As always we did not talk about what happened that much. It was in the past so we were, I guess, lazy to talk about it. Then I had a bout of sadness yesterday that brought him enough sadness to make him lose sleep. *sighs*
We need a re-vamp.
Btw, I've been thinking if I should let him know about tis blog... It would clear a lot of cobwebs and bring light to a lot of things. Ü